AMANDA’S BOOKS

THE RISK IT TAKES TO BLOOM — queer erotica stories

The Risk it Takes To Bloom is an illustrated collection of ten sexy stories for the queer, the kinky, the unconventional, and the underrepresented. Unlike other erotica on the market, these stories are character-driven and heartfelt, oftentimes navigating the meeting place of neurodiversity and insecurity, and the courage to be your most authentic self. Among these provocative stories, a newly-open married couple meets an unexpected unicorn at a Pride weekend drag show, an acupuncturist invites a client to her home for a private session of pleasurable pain, and two lesbian co-eds sneak into a library for an erotic literature-fueled tryst. Love and compassion lace each plot, whether the characters have just met, or have been partnered for years.

Available in paperback and audiobook editions
LISTEN ON KOBO
BUY THE ILLUSTRATED PAPERBACK HERE & HERE (local)
Rate on Goodreads

"Amanda's writing manages to feel both relatable and deeply spiritual—not an easy thing to achieve with erotica! These stories beautifully explore so many facets of queer love and sex, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that can see a lot of my own personal journey in them."
— Rose Kalasz, co-owner of Awakening Boutique

"The Risk it Takes To Bloom is a lush and melodic string of memories compiled and gifted to its readers. Amanda E.K. writes with an unabashed and unbridled devotion that dances with arousing restraint and leaves us, at the end of each page, on the edge of our desires for more. Brief and intense, The Risk it Takes To Bloom is written with as much intrepid passion as the stories it tells."
— Té V. Smith, author of Exit Ticket

“The Risk it Takes to Bloom is a collection of erotic short fiction that will tickle everyone’s fancy in the queerest way possible. These stories encourage the reader to explore their deepest, most hidden desires by challenging their own ideals about sex, relationships, and gender norms. No matter your identity, this book has a fantasy that’s sure to bring you pleasure. Let your desires bloom, lose your inhibitions, and plunge deep into the fantasies between these pages.”
— Alanna L.P., founder of Magdalena Tarot Magazine

CALL ME A SINNER — forthcoming memoir

Cheating helped me heal from religious trauma. When I slid into a life of secrets and affairs after getting married at age 22 to have “legal” sex, I discovered that hiding who I am was at the core of my evangelical Christian indoctrination. Cheating helped me choose honesty and authenticity because I saw first-hand how I could hurt the person I loved most—and not just an invisible deity who I believed was watching and judging my every thought and action. The restrictions of my fundamentalist upbringing sparked in me an unhealthy fixation with sex, but through kink, polyamory, and coming out queer, I fought to own every part of me and to heal from the damage of what is commonly deemed “purity culture.”

In my coming-of-age memoir, Call Me a Sinner, I share my story of growing up as a young woman in small-town Iowa with a high sex drive and the constant fear that my soul would be banished to Hell because of it.

I was a devout teen—a poster child for Christ who knelt every night at the feet of my jealous lover, Jesus, but I couldn’t stop “slipping” on the path to salvation. I discovered the best way to soothe the anxieties brought on by religious doctrine was through self-pleasure—a grave and shameful sin for an evangelical. At age twelve I attended my first purity retreat, where I learned that God had big plans for my life—plans to give me hope and a future, and hot married sex…as long as I remained pure of mind and body until he introduced me to my husband. I tortured myself with the fear of burning in hell for my “addiction,” and begged God to alleviate my libido until my wedding night.

Culling from my diaries that I’ve kept since the age of seven, I explore the impacts of evangelical purity teachings on adult relationships and self-worth. Woven into my narrative are “masturbation break” interludes that highlight (with humor) my most shameful self-pleasure moments. My story invites readers into the abstinence rallies, Christian music festivals, youth groups, and all-girl college dorm rooms of evangelical culture, and then into the empathetic therapy offices where I process my shame and deception and begin to heal from religious trauma, reinvent my marriage, and eventually divorce after unexpected experiences with polyamory.

This is a book for anyone who’s made poor choices out of fear and treated shame as the only proper penance. It’s for those who’ve cheated or been cheated on and could use a fresh perspective on this age-old offense that is so much more than black or white.